if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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