Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
