apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
