I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
