I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish i was in the wii world.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
