Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
