and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
