I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So much rum. So many feels.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
