I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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