Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat