I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Watching her eat just hurts me
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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