Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (2355) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices. http://tfl.nu/oyfa
  Replies (10) Good night (863) Bad night (5685)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire. http://tfl.nu/37qo
  Replies (30) Good night (15964) Bad night (1788)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger. http://tfl.nu/3qkv
  Replies (90) Good night (1829) Bad night (12929)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter http://tfl.nu/ikrf
  Replies (5) Good night (3789) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off.. http://tfl.nu/csfy
  Replies (5) Good night (3865) Bad night (1669)
• Favorite

  (+65): View more from

  No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+65): No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car. http://tfl.nu/46mc
  Replies (20) Good night (4611) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2210) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment http://tfl.nu/52np
  Replies (4) Good night (3136) Bad night (1504)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here http://tfl.nu/edol
  Replies (6) Good night (2007) Bad night (1816)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay. http://tfl.nu/36pt
  Replies (7) Good night (2657) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything. http://tfl.nu/u3ar
  Replies (9) Good night (4043) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge. http://tfl.nu/2ycl
  Replies (22) Good night (1591) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it http://tfl.nu/6pfl
  Replies (4) Good night (935) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again. http://tfl.nu/ogwa
  Replies (9) Good night (999) Bad night (509)

Randomize