Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo

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  (914): ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo http://tfl.nu/67fe
  Replies (4) Good night (1371) Bad night (648)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

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  (330): I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going? http://tfl.nu/4uq9
  Replies (49) Good night (1307) Bad night (20875)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.

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  (507): As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September. http://tfl.nu/oogz
  Replies (19) Good night (4826) Bad night (789)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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  (302): and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare... http://tfl.nu/t5mw
  Replies (21) Good night (608) Bad night (3776)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep

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  (812): according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep http://tfl.nu/y2u2
  Replies (19) Good night (3399) Bad night (1098)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.

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  (316): This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school. http://tfl.nu/crw7
  Replies (21) Good night (990) Bad night (2199)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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  (303): You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller (1-303): I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth http://tfl.nu/tary
  Replies (10) Good night (1164) Bad night (2398)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina

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  (360): 5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina http://tfl.nu/2med
  Replies (16) Good night (2020) Bad night (856)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment

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  (515): I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment http://tfl.nu/kkgu
  Replies (11) Good night (826) Bad night (3162)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"

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  (919): I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle" http://tfl.nu/r7nr
  Replies (6) Good night (3932) Bad night (843)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.

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  (801): When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon. http://tfl.nu/dq5q
  Replies (8) Good night (554) Bad night (1704)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.

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  (609): Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel. http://tfl.nu/9ny9
  Replies (9) Good night (1826) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.

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  (916): I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/r9ng
  Replies (4) Good night (1404) Bad night (523)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something

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  (612): Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something http://tfl.nu/w0o2
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often

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  (513): conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often http://tfl.nu/fm0r
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (94)

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