my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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