so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize