I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
