wrigley field is MILF paradise
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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