Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
