So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
