After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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