Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
