Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
