The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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