I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
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My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
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I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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