It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
