Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize