Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
