You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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