Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
