who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
