Don't you send me to vm
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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