If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
