did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
