direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
