You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
