You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
