i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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