3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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