just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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