gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Farmville is her only friend.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize