He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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