They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
