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Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
