while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
