Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize