vagina is talking i cant
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
