Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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