is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
