Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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