This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
this hospital has no fireball
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
