still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
