I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
