I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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