their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
