There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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