hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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