my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize