I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
