he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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