I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
