I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
