Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
