i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
