if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
